Don't you love to hate some of your "a-ha" moments? Some of these moments are the most innovative (wow!!!) and some are the most heart breaking (did I really.....). Some of these moments are light bulb over the head realization (this is going to be great) and some are like standing in front of a speeding freight train with no time to jump out the way realization (talk about major hurt-ouch). Some of these moments are gentle nudges that a mother dog gives her pup when he is trying to walk(come on you can do it). Some of these moments are like a mother bird pushing her hatch lings out of the nest for the first time (flap your wings before hitting the ground-and you have lift off!!!!). Which of these describes my recent a-ha moment? I would have to say, a cross between between the mother bird pushing me out of the nest to land in front of the freight train. Talk about a real wake up call! Did I flap my wings before getting hit by the train? I guess you can say I escaped narrowly with some feathers missing off my tail.
I have written about this before in short form on Facebook, placed questions for people to answer on this subject matter, read and reread books/articles on this, visited many websites, and had the conversation with by best girlfriends on the matter at hand. Then I woke up one morning and said to myself "You are worth so much more than this!! No more chasing or placing yourself in his life! No more doing or having little things happen so you have to call on him for help! No More! Enough is Enough! He doesn't deserve to have your love!" My love is for the one who can appreciate me, is concerned about my general well-being, has my best interest at heart, and wants to see and be with me just about every waking moment of the day. The special someone who is aligned with me in every way possible, from the sync of our heart beats to the perfect timing of our foot steps together to the dance of each breathe we take (I inhale to his exhale). Now that is my soulmate.
I had to ask myself, "self, why have you waisted so much time loving someone who doesn't love you back in the same way? Isn't this one sided? Why are you waisting time trying to become noticed by this man? If he doesn't see you for the Queen you are, then walk away! Self, isn't obvious???? Do you even think he will notice if your gone?" The answer to all of these questions is the same as it has been for the last 18-19 years....The heart and body wanted what it wanted. The truth of it is.....you can not make someone love you if they don't.
So, no more waisting time valuable heart time. For I love me first, in loving myself I love the Most High Creator........Source, God.
I am the Queen of My Life!
I am Worthy of Real Love!
No more giving my love away on a silver platter to those who don't deserve it.
My A-ha moment.........
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