Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A Want for True Love


We spend so much time wondering about the future.  Tomorrow is not promised to us.  It is time to stop and smell the roses.  Live for today, enjoy the now!  We as people fear the unknown; this fear has a way of adding limitations on all that we do.  Whether we are afraid of a person, place, or thing it affects our being.  Taking that leap into the unknown takes courage, the ability to accept failure, and accept what ever the outcome maybe. 
Because we may fail at attempts to make something work, does not mean we should give up.  I have been molested as a child and have had two failed marriages.  Does this mean that I give up on finding or being blessed with the love of my life? No.
If I did give up, then my wonderful beautiful sons would have never been born.  If I give up, then the idea of marriage would be out of the question and the idea of knowing that my partner for life would not exist.  I want to know what it feels like not to be able to breathe without him.  Miss him so terribly, I sleep in one of his shirts.  Make love to him and cry with tear of happiness because he feels so good.
If I give into my fears, then none of the above will happen for me.
I watch people…couples, singles, children, elderly.  To see elderly couples together and know that they have worked hard to get to this point of loving one another so unconditionally, is joyous.  To see a wife take care of her husband with no questions asked, is breath taking.
I often wonder, how many fights they have had?  How many times “I love you” was said? How many kisses given?  Are they still holding hands?  How many times she has picked out his tie or told him “those shoes” or “that shirt doesn’t match”? How many times has he told her “your beautiful”? How many times has he told her “I don’t like that dress” or “wear my favorite dress”?
What makes the dress his favorite? What makes that shirt her favorite?  Does the color match his eyes, her eyes? Does it bring out the color of his/her hair? Does it bring out his/her skin tone?
I heard a woman say, the very thing her husband did that she loved about him when they first met, now drives her crazy.  She made the statement with a smile on her face.  So, she must still love those things about him.  The same woman stated that if he dies before her, she would not know what to do because they shared so much together.
I recently had a volunteer call me to tell me her husband died.  She stated she could no longer volunteer because this was something they shared and enjoyed doing together.  Without him it would not mean the same for her.
Love in both of these capacities is what I wish and long for.  I believe in love at first site.  I believe in soul mates.  I believe in fighting for your love one. I believe in standing by until the end. I believe in love.

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